I am nothing if not sincere.

So I'm leaving Substack.

Taylor Swift said something in an interview recently that has made me do some soul-searching. I like Taylor Swift. I can’t claim Swifty status, but her songs are catchy, and she’s exceptional at what she does. I also think she understands the internet better than most.

Taylor Swift, internet genius, performing at her Eras tour

What she said was that sincerity, when shared on the internet, comes off as whining. And I was like, shit, that’s probably true.

I venture to guess that the main consistent tone in my writing is sincerity. Vulnerability, some have said. But some probably read it and just think I sound whiny. That’s never been my intention. Clearly.

I hate unsolicited advice. And when I say unsolicited, what I mean is, if I haven’t come to you and said, please tell me what you think I should do, then I don’t want you to tell me what you think I should do. So to me, I’m writing and posting my experiences in hopes that others can relate and identify with said experiences. Maybe a mom will feel less alone if she reads about something I’ve been through. I also don’t try to tell anyone else what to do because of my advice allergy, so it seems that some folks see my posts as an invitation. I’ve been too vulnerable, and it makes them uncomfortable. They don’t understand why I would sincerely share my troubles or difficulties, so they think I’m asking for advice. I can understand how it could happen. That’s because I possess empathy. A rarity on the internet, I know.

The least sincere place on the internet is social media. This is the other problem I have. There aren’t many places a new/struggling/unknown writer can share their writing, so social media is the obvious outlet. However, I get addicted to things easily, and social media is no exception. It makes me feel terrible. I know I’m not alone in this. Lots has been written about the subject. I love having a place where I can write dumb thoughts like, did you know there’s going to be a Toy Story 5? That’s at least 2 too many Toy Story movies… Or, Look, here’s a photo of the three rocks I accidentally just washed and dried with the laundry because they were in my younger son’s shorts pocket! But the world doesn’t need my thoughts like that, and I don’t really need to read others’ random thoughts either, though I do enjoy a good cat meme.

Anyway, Substack, the place I’ve been trying to grow an audience, is social media. The notes function is a time suck that hurts my heart and feelings, and it’s also the main mechanism for growth. I think I’m giving up on growth as a concept. Maybe my writing will find people who like it. Maybe it won’t. But trying to “build community” through an app is not something I want to spend any more of my precious time on this earth doing.

I took some advice from someone I did ask for advice from around this time last year. She said, Join Substack! There’s growth potential there! You’ll find an audience and will build a mailing list so if you decide to write a book, publishers will be more likely to be interested in you because you already have subscribers likely to buy your book! All of that sounded great. It also sounded to me like step-by-step instructions to follow for success. I’m a sucker for a plan, so I fell for it. Not that it was a scam, but I bought into the dream. I also changed my goals, reimagined my audience, and changed the name of my publication to conform to this woman’s advice. These were all mistakes.

My audience has always been active moms, maybe active parents. I don’t know enough about identity to write with any authority on the subject, and I don’t have the time or energy to research more about it. I know my own experiences and am willing to share them. That’s what I have going for me, and I need to play to my strengths. I’m switching from Substack to Ghost. Here’s my new publication:

Mom-Lete on Ghost

If you come with me, back to Mom-Lete, an obvious portmanteau of “mom” and “athlete” (this was not obvious to the woman who told me to change it), I will continue writing the way I write and will stop pretending to be something I’m not. If my little corner of the internet is small enough, I can keep being vulnerable and won’t have to worry about what Taylor Swift said about sincerity sounding whiny.

Thank you for reading. I wish I could express to you how much your willingness to read my words means to me.